Half of working dads in the UK still anxious about requesting childcare leave

Half of working fathers still feel ‘nervous’ about requesting time off to look after their children. A survey of 5,000 working dads revealed a significant 75% want to embrace equal parenting – but still feel there is stigma around them taking time off work.

Two thirds believe they would be granted more flexibility if they had the courage to ask for it, but not without being asked questions first. Previously when asking for time off to fulfil childcare duties, a fifth have faced questions such as ‘where’s your wife/partner?’, while others have faced questions around the urgency of their request and asked to arrange alternative care.

Aside from these kinds of queries, other barriers to equal parenting were identified as dads feeling bad about asking colleagues to cover their work (24%) and not wanting their boss to think less of them (22%).

For 20%, there is also the lingering perception that their partner is expected to cover all childcare duties.

A study commissioned by Working Families in collaboration with Wates Group, and supported by Parenting Out Loud and dad Shift, has revealed that while 78% of working parents are keeping their employers satisfied, this is causing a strain on their own health, as well as that of their partners and children.

Jane van Zyl, CEO at Working Families, commented that although more fathers are voicing their needs, ‘we still have a way to go to get to where we should be’.

Nikunj Upadhyay, HR Director, Land and Development Division and I&D Director at Wates Group added: “This research confirms that stigma and nervousness persist for working dads across the UK, with many feeling judged or questioned for prioritising family.

“Yet, our own experience shows that when organisations step up, offering enhanced, flexible paternity or partner leave and a supportive culture, the impact is profound.

“Fathers tell us that our 12-week policy has enabled them to be present for their families at critical moments, to share responsibilities more equally, and to return to work feeling valued, not penalised.”

The research also discovered that 35% of fathers didn’t take as much paternity leave as they would have liked when their child was born – with 6% not taking any whatsoever.

A worrying 13% would still hesitate to take their full maternity leave entitlement if they were to have another child, concerned about the impact on their career progression (32%) or even being replaced (22%).

Meanwhile, a significant 69% of working dads continue to feel the pressure to be the main breadwinner in the household.

This sentiment is echoed in workplace attitudes towards each parent in terms of flexibility, with 44% feeling that their employers treat mothers more favourably when it comes to offering flexibility to meet childcare needs.

However, this lack of flexibility is having tangible effects on fathers and their relationships with their families – as 25% have missed out on key events in their child’s life and 21% have had to rely on their partner taking more time off or even changing their job.

nna Whitehouse, founder of Mother Pukka and campaigner on parental equality, said: “Until dads are backed at work to take on care, mums will keep being pushed into the role of default parent, whether they choose it or not.”

She added:”Until we’re all playing by the same rules, women will stay stuck on the back foot when it comes to pay and career progression, and dads will stay locked out of the care they want to give.”

To tackle the stigma, 31% believe employers should champion equal leave policies for all genders, and 28% think this could be helped by showcasing positive role models of working fathers in leadership positions.

Alongside improved policies and parental rights, a third of respondents believe that promoting more open discussions about fatherhood in the workplace could be the solution, according to data from OnePoll.com.

Elliott Rae, campaigner and founder of Parenting Out Loud, said: “Dads want to parent, but too often workplaces make it feel like they’re being punished for trying to share the load and families end up paying the price, with stress, strained relationships, and health all taking a hit.

“To combat this stigma, we want dads to be proud to ‘Parent Out Loud’, putting school pick-ups in the calendar, using your out-of-office to talk about childcare, being honest about needing to work from home to care for a sick child, taking all your paternity leave, and requesting flexible working.

“Equality isn’t just about policies, it’s about giving both parents the space to show up for their kids without fear or shame.”